outside/inside *warning: ocky picture below*

last week i had my first post-op appointment. it was the first time i saw the incision from the surgery. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! i had no idea that they would cut open a 7" incision! and i have 12 staples. and they hurt! i have to admit i nearly passed out when they unwrapped the ankle. dad, in his infinite desire for knowledge and pictoral evidence, brought his camera. dig it:



so... why did they cut such a big hole? to put in a plate, four small permanent screws (three in red circle) and two ginormous removable screws (one in the blue circle and one out of the picture just above the first).



in 6 weeks they will cut me open again to take out the ginormous screws. lucky me.

how many members...

of your zodiac sign does it take to change a light bulb?

Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?

Taurus: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done; they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process for the burned-out bulb.

Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.

Virgo: Approximately 1,000,000 with an error of one millionth.

Libra: Umm, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that ok with you?

Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Sagittarius: the sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb!?

Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes!

Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so....

Pisces: Light bulb? What light bulb?

god speed

in a bizarre and truly unfortunate turn of events, my 28 year old cousin died yesterday in her sleep - the coroner's inquest is pending - at my aunt and uncle's house in lubbock, texas. she was deeply deeply troubled and had been from birth. she leaves behind two beautiful boys who were already being raised by her parents - i wrote briefly about one of them on an older blog.

because our trip to hawaii had to be cancelled, my mom is able to spend this traumatic time with her baby brother. for that, i am happy to have broken myself.

they shoot horses, don't they?

pain. oh, god... so much pain. i haven't made it past my bed and the bathroom yet, but when i do, i'm going to scan in the picture of the SIX screws now residing in my left ankle. and the pain meds... they don't work. just to spite me, they don't work. am trying to knit through the pain. working on the idea that if i concentrate on something as hard as i have to concentrate on sock-knitting that i'll no longer focus on the pain. anyone got any other suggestions? because i'm open to anything at this point.

be careful what you wish for...

so... yesterday morning i was bemoaning going to hawaii with a cast and crutches. well, ladles and jellyspoons, one must be careful what one wishes for, mustn't one?

i saw the specialist yesterday about my ankle. turns out the er doctor completely ignored the radiologist's notes about my x-ray and sort of under-diagnosed my fractured fibula. he said i would need a cast and be on my merry way. oh, no... not me.

in the spirit of never doing anything half-assed, i fractured the fibula at and angle and seem to have torn the ligaments that would have held it in proper alignment - as the bits of bone are displaced from one another by about a millimeter. what does this mean? immediate surgery. tomorrow. surgery tomorrow! i hate surgery! and this surgery is going to leave me with bits of stuff in my body. namely: plates and a screw. yep... i'm going to be permenantly screwed.

oh... and... no hawaii for me! instead - three weeks in bed.

spring break, indeed.

it was a gorgeous day today. sunshine and sixty-something degrees. i had a bowl of cereal on the front porch and basked in the morning sun. i was excited to prune back my front yard to prepare for the new growth that is beginning to appear.

i was feeling optimistic enough to begin cleaning house. i got the kitchen mostly clean and on the way out the front door to trash some stale cereal, i lost my footing house and... wait for it... broke my ankle. I BROKE MY FREAKING ANKLE!!!

the only bone i've ever broken in my life was my cheekbone. no cast needed. no crutches. no real inconvenience other than a black and blue face. a broken ankle? quite the opposite. crutches suck baboon ass. you can't carry anything. you aren't stable enough to stand to do anything. you can't vacuum, you can't sweep. i'm not enjoying this. and i'm in pain.

and the best part? the very best part? i leave a week from tomorrow for a much needed vacation. in hawaii. hawaii with a cast. freaking hawaii with a cast!! i'm so bummed i can't even find the words. ugh.